A 67-year-old man named Robert Gene White was at a strip club in El Paso, Texas on Friday night getting a lap dance when, suddenly, he was UNRESPONSIVE.
The stripper's first instinct was: Oh, he's definitely FAKING to try to get out of paying for the dance. Except he wasn't . . . so she started trying to do CPR on him. Now THAT'S a full service lap dance. Paramedics rushed to the club, but they couldn't revive him, and he was pronounced dead at a hospital shortly after that. For now, the cause of death is listed as natural causes. (But I wouldn't be shocked if eventually that gets changed to "silicone causes.")