63-year-old Noel Dawson Jr. from North Toledo, Ohio was arrested last week for chasing around a family member with a hatchet, then smashing it into that person's truck. He's facing a bunch of charges. But that's all negligible. Let's talk mugshot.
First of all, he's smushing up his face, like those old "bitter beer face" ads. He's got these giant bags under his eyes that almost look like implants. And he's got a long, flowing, blond mullet. He's a god.